The first promise I am making for 2012 is to listen to myself. I have always believed that housed deep inside of us, are all of our truths. This year I commit to listening to the truths I already know and not denying them. I have found the greatest pain in my life has come from turning away from my own wisdom when it was calling for me with an important message. This coming year, I promise to have faith in myself and in the lessons I've learned from my past. I will trust my own wisdom and I follow my heart.
The second promise I am making is to strive more for oneness and not otherness. Mostly in my life I've been good at always recognizing that I am part of a much larger whole and being cognizant of how my actions affect other parts of that whole. I believe I've been caught up in my own emotional struggles this year and recoiled into the illusion of otherness. Of being separate and alone, different and an exception. Looking at others not as an extension of my own existence. I promise this year to be more connected to the whole and actively compassionate towards all of the parts of that whole. To give what I have, smile at those I pass, give warmth and love to those who will have it. Offer to carry the burden of those who may be just as tired of their weight as I have been of mine at times.
The third promise I am making is to love my sober self. To find other ways to address the social anxiety
The fourth promise I am making is to reach out to my friends and family more. To tell them I love them, to explain what's going on in my world, and to ask them to listen and ask for help. To be honest and vulnerable, supportive, to laugh and cry. Not to take for granted that they're reading facebook and texts. To pick up the phone and hear a voice. To sit down for dinner or coffee. I promise this year to invest fully in those I love and who love me back. To lean on and let them lean on me.
Lastly, I promise to keep my heart open. To embrace all newcomers in my life in the coming year. To not let past baggage or fears dissuade me from the affections of those who want to be near me. To believe that I deserve new love, not the kind I idealize because I want to be loved, but the kind that rushes in unexpectedly because it was meant for me.
The end! Happy 2012 to all!